Change
G- has decreed today to be music day. He turned off the tv early this morning after the kids fought over what DVD to put in next.
1st up - Paula Abdul. What a complete lack of creativity. I remember when I was younger, watching the video for "Opposites Attract" and loving it. Wow, to be young again.
Next up - Indigo Girls. I should have known better. I found all my old cd's, the ones included in my inheritance, ones I never listen to anymore (Pottercast anyone?). The experience of looking through them all should have been enough to make me stop in my tracks and cave in to Say-say's demands for the BBC recording of "the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." (He had an absolute hissy fit when the first song started "No I don't like this music!". Bobo, however, danced happily.) But I should have remembered this music. Dancing at the Lilith Fair by myself (after almost leaving before they came onstage having never had the Indigo Girls experience before). Listening to these CD's on the way home after identifying my father's body (what's going to happen when I hear "Secure Yourself" again?). Listening to these songs on my CD player in the months after the suicide and crying but trying to hold it together. 1997 was such a year for me. So many changes that affected the rest of my life. So many memories that only come back when song fragments nudge them.
I really miss my daddy.
I think back to those times with longing until I force myself to remember the present. Though my job sucks some days and G- bugs me some days and the kids drive me stark raving mad some days, the other days are pretty good. I like myself better today than I did then. My mind just spins now with the clarity of it all. I'm happy and fulfilled. How many people can truly say that?
Say-say likes the music now. Just took a couple songs to get him going. Bobo's lost interest, instead he's decided to climb up the back of the couch again. "UP!"
1st up - Paula Abdul. What a complete lack of creativity. I remember when I was younger, watching the video for "Opposites Attract" and loving it. Wow, to be young again.
Next up - Indigo Girls. I should have known better. I found all my old cd's, the ones included in my inheritance, ones I never listen to anymore (Pottercast anyone?). The experience of looking through them all should have been enough to make me stop in my tracks and cave in to Say-say's demands for the BBC recording of "the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." (He had an absolute hissy fit when the first song started "No I don't like this music!". Bobo, however, danced happily.) But I should have remembered this music. Dancing at the Lilith Fair by myself (after almost leaving before they came onstage having never had the Indigo Girls experience before). Listening to these CD's on the way home after identifying my father's body (what's going to happen when I hear "Secure Yourself" again?). Listening to these songs on my CD player in the months after the suicide and crying but trying to hold it together. 1997 was such a year for me. So many changes that affected the rest of my life. So many memories that only come back when song fragments nudge them.
I really miss my daddy.
I think back to those times with longing until I force myself to remember the present. Though my job sucks some days and G- bugs me some days and the kids drive me stark raving mad some days, the other days are pretty good. I like myself better today than I did then. My mind just spins now with the clarity of it all. I'm happy and fulfilled. How many people can truly say that?
Say-say likes the music now. Just took a couple songs to get him going. Bobo's lost interest, instead he's decided to climb up the back of the couch again. "UP!"
posted by Suzy Q @ 11:56 AM
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