Suzy Q's Life

Moving Out

2007-03-05T20:38:00.000-05:00

I haven't truly decided if I'm done with this particular blog yet. I might post random thoughts just to keep it going. However, I've finally followed up on my threat. I have started a new blog. And guess what! Blogger has this nifty feature now so I can control who can see it! So send me your email, and maybe I'll let you in.
Talk to you soon!

I Spy

2007-01-29T17:47:00.000-05:00

It appears, dear readers, that I have had an unexpected visitor to this blog, Tharrington Smith LLP, my estranged husband's lawyer. I don't believe I've written anything out-of-the-ordinary, but, just in case, I'm considering starting a new blog. So let's start the voting now!

"Leave it alone Suzy-Q, you've done nothing wrong!"

or

"Wow, it's so lucky you found out when you did, start a new blog, & email me the address!"

Leave your votes in the comment section below, and I shall tally them at the end of the week. If you leave your email (and I recognize the address), I'll be sure to send you my new blog as soon as it's up and running.

Tata for now...

Whirlwind of Activity

2007-01-22T18:26:00.000-05:00

So it seems I've neglected my posting for a couple weeks. It always amazes me that so much time can pass so quickly. Let me bring you up to speed...

I had a court date Friday for the domestic violence suit against my estranged husband. We came to an agreement, and the suit was "voluntarily dismissed" which means our lawyers gave the judge papers instead of just waiting for her to dismiss it because I wasn't actually present to request a restraining order.
Long story.

So we're still on the week on/week off schedule until July unless something is resolved before that. Since I'm the only one with a job, joint custody means I pay child support. However, I'm reserving judgement on this situation and letting go of all these worries. Someone else is taking care of this for me now. I must say, what a relaxing feeling to know that God's got this, and I can just take a breath. I haven't had anything to do with God or church for several years, but it only took one person to explain it to me in terms I could understand.

Sundays are hard on me now. When I have to hand over my kids, it just leaves this empty feeling inside. Bobo was clingy all week, holding onto my legs at every step, staying in my lap as I worked on the computer, refusing to go into daycare at church (he sat with me in the sanctuary and played with my hair instead.) And when I put him in his daddy's car, he started to cry. I mean really cry, not whine, cry. It took everything I had not to burst into tears right then and there (I saved that for the ride home.) A friend talked me through it, reassuring me I had made the right decision and assuring me my children would not think this was a bad thing when they get old enough to understand. It hurts now though. When Say-say told his daddy that he had forgotten his car in mine, his daddy pulled over and came to get it. He asked what was wrong with Bobo "he hasn't stopped crying since you put him in the car." I tried to brush it off by saying he was fine, he'd made cookies this morning with Em (his cousin) and Say-say, but that he had been clingy all week. I told G- that Bobo just missed me. G-'s response? "I know the feeling."

But if you ask my mother? In her words, I've "made a 360 turn." (Yes, I know the term is 180, but Mom has her own way of talking : ) which we tend to just let go.) Several people have complimented me on my change in attitude. I'm happier, more in control of my life, nicer to everyone (including the kids which had been a terrible weight on my heart), I'm just an all-around content person now. As I said, I'm reserving judgement on the children situation, but I know it will work out for the best. Then I'll truly be able to start the rest of my life.

What's Next

2007-01-09T18:47:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had one of those days/weeks where you just weren't sure where you fit into the scheme of things? Like everything was pointing you somewhere, but all the signs were written in a language you only halfway recognized?
I know this is a product of the rain, the moon, the Sunday switch, but I have an uneasy feeling that continues to come and go.

The Sunday switch for the last 3 visits has taken place in the rain. Every time I watch the kids ride off, this lonesome feeling comes over me. I miss them so much. I try to look for the positive. I'm almost done knitting a scarf. I've watched tv shows that I've ignored for months. I'm able to read for hours at a time. But it doesn't replace those laughs and smiles. I know I'll see them Sunday. I look forward to it.

The rain has been relentless here. My mother's pond is so full, we're just waiting for the goldfish to try and make a break for it. I don't mind the rain, I usually like it, but when it's every single weekend for a month, I need a break. And this past weekend was the worst. Friday and Sunday both were dreary all day, then horrible tornado-infested storms broke out everywhere. People who know me know tornadoes terrify me. It's not the thunder or the lightning; I'm not a child after all. It's the destructive wind that makes me hunker down next to the computer and check the radar every three minutes. ("Is it breaking up yet? Is that line hooking? Has the tornado watch lifted?") I've only seen a tornado once, a long distance off, but back then I didn't know at what I was looking. I didn't realize the power behind them until I moved to Raleigh and had my first tornado warning (unfortunately not the last). That one took off a steeple one town down.

Enough of the dreariness. Let me share with you a website listed on one of my favorite blogs. It helped break up the scariness and brought me back to light. May you be blessed.

PS: As I was filling in the links, I realized that I've been working on a rainy day scarf for quite a few weeks. I suppose I should hurry up and finish it. Maybe this weekend will actually end up sunny as a result!

Child-free Nights

2006-12-26T20:09:00.000-05:00

So the children are back in Raleigh after a week spent with their mummy. I dropped them off with their papa yesterday at lunchtime after a miserable drive in the pouring rain.

I missed them as soon as I got back into the car.

It's amazing to me how I can crave me-time for so many years, and now that I've got it, I don't know what to do with it. I went to sleep last night and woke up this morning with an emptiness I can't remember having before, not in regards to the children. I wanted to see their sweet cherubic faces first thing in the morning (they don't get into full monster mode for at least fifteen minutes.) I wanted to get their milk cups ready (Say-say's is vanilla or "ice cream", Bobo usually takes strawberry.) Up until these last months, I hadn't been away from the children for more than 24 hours. It's incredibly unusual to have such time on my hands to do with as I wish be it blog, read, knit, watch movies, play solitaire, whatever. Here I sit, at a loss for words, trying to catch up my blogging and waiting until bedtime when I'll get a couple minutes to hear them say "night-night".
Xmas went well. I've never had so much fun watching kids open presents. Bobo "wowed" everything, and Say-say immediately wanted to dig into the Hot Wheels toys. I got some very nice presents including one I only halfway expected (I knew it was a "two" present, but I was very surprised and incredibly pleased to see what "two" it was :O.)
And Suzy-Q has a job! I can work at home when I have the kids and at the office other times. It's too complicated to get into, but it's an exciting opportunity, wish me luck! I'm so happy to have some money coming in, I can't stand being unemployed.
Well, boys and girls, I think I'm going to spend some of my free time left finishing up a scarf I've been working on for a couple weeks now. Ta-ta for now.

Naptime and Christmas

2006-12-18T13:20:00.000-05:00

I think I've found the secret to making children lie down and take naps.
They just can't be your own children.
My own two are playing on the couch as I alternately try to entice ("there's a big playset outside waiting on you when you wake up!") and threaten ("you guys ready for a spanking?") while my niece who is a notoriously difficult napper lies asleep in her bed having only needed a movie playing and one line of encouragement ("Go lie down, it's naptime.") They need the nap. I need the naptime.
As for Christmas (excellent segue, yes?), I am celebrating Christmas for the first time in six years. When I first met my now-separated husband, I still did the present thing. I enjoyed shopping for the presents, wrapping the presents, giving the presents, everything. Somewhere in the first two or three years, "we" decided to stop celebrating Christmas. One of us, however, made up the rule that if anyone gave us presents, we'd accept them. (I always thought that was a horribly tacky rule, but there you go.) Then we had kids. The rule stayed the same. Everyone I worked with thought I was a terrible mommy for making the children miss Christmas. I always very politely explained that they still had Christmas at their grandparents' houses. When one employee asked me what I would say when the kids came home from school asking why their friends celebrated Christmas, I asked her if she thought it was right for me to encourage peer pressure.
Then came November. Positions I had held on several issues for years suddenly seemed to make very little sense. (Not all of them, there are still a select few I refuse to budge on :}) When the subject of Christmas begin creeping up in conversation, I realized I would need to rethink my whole stance. Knowing that there would be a tree where I would be living and knowing that presents would be given out regardless of what I did or didn't do, I made the leap from non-celebrator to celebrator as only I can. Full speed ahead. I even picked up Santa along the way, albeit reluctantly at first. When I was a kid, I remember being heartbroken that there was no such thing as Santa and thinking how I would never lie to my kids that way (it's not funny, I was heartbroken!) Then someone reminded me that I could use Santa as a threat. Let's see if that works ("Santa's watching, you better be good and take a nap!") Wow, it worked. I keep forgetting I can do that!
Anyway, so I realized what I've been missing for so many years. I remembered the jolly atmosphere in the stores with carols, stuffed reindeer, holly (okay, so my sister is having miserable shopper woes where she works, but the lights are still pretty!) I remembered the pleasure of picking out just the right present (it really is the thought that counts after all.) I remembered the fun I always had wrapping (yes, I do this for the boys on their birthdays, but you're missing the point!) I'm so excited this season. I'm almost done, just six more presents to go, and I should be set.
I'm off to try and get these children to lie down and go to sleep. Bobo has fallen asleep in my arms. Just one more to go.

Such a long month

2006-12-12T21:53:00.000-05:00

It occurred to me yesterday, dear readers, that I have been neglecting my blogging responsibilities. However will I keep you all up to date on my incredibly fascinating life? I am back today to try and beg for your forgiveness and rectify the situation as only I can. Please be warned, however, some of the following must be intentionally vague for reasons that will become all the more apparent as we speak.

When last I posted, life was taking an unusual turn. I wish, I wish, I really wish I could go into detail here; I'd so love to explain what has taken place but to do so might hurt my chances in other situations so please accept this instead. My life suddenly became color after a long black and white dream.

On Halloween day, I told my husband of six years that I was leaving him and moving to my mother's. The next day, I gave a one month's notice to my employer. November was the longest month of my life. (Even longer than the last month of pregnancy when you're sure around every bend is a contraction just waiting to hurry that child into the world. Anyway...) My husband was terribly unhappy with what was going down and used the majority of the month to either be exceptionally sweet or exceptionally bitter. I suffered through it all. The night before I was to leave, we got into an argument. He grabbed my arm, the cops were called, a messy night was had by all. The bruise took over a week to fade. After having a restraining order filed against him, I took the kids from the house and stayed in a "extended stay" hotel for a week (the judge having decreed the children couldn't leave Wake County until the hearing on the 12th.) G- was allowed visitation at the end of the week, and court today went smoothly. We're working on a week on/week off basis for the time being.

Now my life is getting back on track. I'm finally able to unpack my mess of a bedroom here at my mother's, I'm beginning the job hunt, and my next step after updating here is to start browsing the internet for churches in Mooresville. Ah yes, my friends, I have had an epiphany. It came to me in part as I was attending my mother's non-denominational church. I say in part because another conversation with an excellent influence truly started me on the path. I must say, I haven't felt this relaxed in years. What a beautiful feeling to let go and realize you don't always have to be in control. Life is going the right direction, and I'm going to let it.

Unfortunately, my left hand has decided to freeze up on me; having been somewhat lazy for the past month, it's not up to snuff. Ta-ta for now. I hope to chat more soon.

A Few Minutes to Catch My Breath

2006-10-29T19:01:00.000-05:00

This has been a terribly busy two weeks. Generally, I do try and post at least once a week to appease those one or two faithful readers who rely on this as their only contact with me (sorry M-C), but I spent all last weekend feverishly sewing monkey costumes for the boys. Why all last weekend you ask? Say-say's former speech therapist was having a fall festival last Tuesday, and I wanted Say-say to say hi to her again (she hadn't seen him since the end of August.) Last year, Say-say went as a dinosaur and Bobo as Thomas the Tank Engine. This year, Say-say wanted to be a monkey, and Bobo, in the grand tradition of little brothers, wanted the same. Which, of course, meant that there were no monkey costumes in the entire county. I decided to try out the sewing machine Mom gave me at the beach trip. Once I got past the breakdown at realizing I knew nothing about sewing and needles and cloth, it went fairly well. Bobo's took a day and a half, Say-say's an afternoon. I'd post a picture here, but I'm not incredibly wild about the way the costumes laid (lied? :}) over their sweats. Much too bulky in my opinion so I'll be sure to take a picture Halloween instead. That night's supposed to be a little warm anyway. That's Raleigh for you. The fair comes, the temperature drops like a rock, but for one night (Halloween), it always seems to be nice. Hard to gauge year to year when buying costumes, but there you go.
As for work, the drama's still there, but it was a nice couple weeks all the same. I've had some interesting lunches and some even more interesting conversations, and I must say, I'm excited to see everything work out. And I'll leave it there.
I'll post more Halloween as time permits.

Anderson Cooper is the Man

2006-10-14T12:05:00.000-04:00

This has been a long week.

I picked up Anderson Cooper's book Dispatches from the Edge on Monday. I had been waiting for it to go on sale ($25 can be a crunch in a purchase-heavy month), but I finally used a coupon for Borders from PotterCast (hurry, it expires Oct 29th!). I had barely gotten through half the book by Monday night. People who know me know that I can breeze through a book in no time flat. I did after all finish Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (which is 652 pages) in 8 hours. Anderson's book is only 207 pages, but I didn't finish it until late Tuesday night.

How Anderson has been able to survive is beyond me. Every page is full of heart-wrenching tales reported straight from the front lines. It's not just the wars he's been to or the horrific scenes he's seen, it's the utter raw emotion that keeps the reader engaged. He's had a hard life. Not something you'd expect from a rich pretty boy, but this man has done great things with his life, sometimes at great personal risk and strife. It took so long to read the book because I couldn't keep my eyes from welling up on every page. My heart goes out to him. I know what it's like to lose a loved one to suicide. I know what it's like to try and cut off any contact with life that might trigger a breakdown. I know now why my eyes tear up at the sight, sound, and thought of beauty. Say-say's laughter can bring such emotion to the surface, I have to turn away sometimes to compose myself. That emotion is always lingering just underneath.

My friend who's battling breast cancer has been told this week that she should have chemo as a safeguard. She really wants to come back to work, but the chemo would put her out for months. She has some really hard decisions to make.

Everything I go through on a daily basis seems so small and inconsequential compared to these two brave souls. My week, although long because of the work-drama, seems so petty and not even worth mentioning. All this just makes me wonder what I'm doing with my life. It makes me want to do something so important that it puts the world at peace.

Any suggestions?

Much Too Long

2006-10-07T14:37:00.000-04:00

I've been away much too long. I apologize profusely. Let me bring you up-to-date.
In the weeks that I've been quiet, I've been knitting fiendishly. I've been reading Harry Potter, trying to get my notes caught up, and coming up with new and completely bizarre theories (Voldemort killed Hepzibah Smith and disappeared the same year Dumbledore defeated Grindelwald hmmm).
Also, a friend found out she had breast cancer. She had her left breast removed and is recovering nicely, but for a week or two, we were all incredibly concerned. I last talked to her on Monday when she was still waiting on lab results, scheduling doctor appointments, etc. She's amazingly upbeat and an incredible woman. (She's the one I mentioned a while ago as being such "a truly together person who actually tries to help and keep an upbeat and positive attitude." I've been keeping her up with Harry Potter info, trying to keep her mind occupied.
In case anyone cares, I got an "E" on the Wombat test 2, the same score I got on my Wombat test 1. I was going for the "O", but I know exactly which questions I missed. Ah twell, there's one more left. (It's a jkrowling.com thing, if you're not a Harry Potter fan, just skip it.)
The beach trip went ok. I have a hard time being in an environment where I can't schedule and control the details (my mom calls me a control-freak), so it could have gone better. The best time was on the beach. Say-say played in the sand, Bobo played in the surf, G- and I swam in the ocean, we had a great time. My sister and her family came as well as my mom. It was nice all being together on a trip. But we'll wait a few years before we try something like that again.
This has been a long month, but it's seemed to go by incredibly quickly. I'll try to keep up my blogging now that I don't have any pressing projects with time-limits.

A Day to Remember

2006-09-11T12:42:00.000-04:00

Yesterday as I read all the 9/11-related articles in the local newspaper, all I kept thinking to myself was "why do we have to do this every year?" I figured I'd make an obligatory 9/11 "where was I when" post today. My sensitive side pointed out that the word "obligatory" could be construed as highly disrespectful, so I chose not to mention it when I eventually sat down today to reflect (although I mention it here to highlight the point I'll be making in the next few sentences.)

Then last night as I turned off the Batman movie that was playing on DVD (the kids were on their way to bed to hear G- read them a story), I decided to flip the channel to CBS. They were showing a documentary by a couple of French brothers (you know how I love the French). I figured that next to the other programs showing (including the ABC mockudrama Say-say kept asking about all day after seeing it in an ad in the newspaper, only he kept calling it "Past 97" or "Past Tonight at 7", etc.), this would be the most worth my attention. I sat on the coffee table to flip the channel. I stayed there for the next hour and a half.

It all came flooding back. M- coming into work that morning late because of something she had heard on the radio about a plane hitting the World Trade Center. I had to ask what the World Trade Center was, having never needed to know that before. Rushing back to the break room to see the whole thing play out on ABC. Peter Jennings saying it looked like a piece had fallen off one of the towers even though any fool could see the thing had completely imploded. Danielle crying out "oh God, all those people!" and bursting into tears, and me thinking she was being dramatic. Realizing that my twin was in New Jersey and not hearing from her until 3 o'clock (she, of course, had no idea what was going on until then because she hadn't turned on the TV.) Going downstairs to get a chart and feeling like the ceiling was about to come down on top of me. Watching the sky on the way home from work, wondering if the BB&T tower in downtown Raleigh would be next. Leaving ABC on 24/7 to watch Peter Jennings wonder angrily where the president was. Arguing with G- about going after the people who had done this (G- had realized quickly what I hadn't; that the word "Muslim" was about to become a dirty word). Two days later, going in for my first OB appointment (I was 9 weeks pregnant when this happened) and hearing the nurse discussing a radio station that was playing the Lord's Prayer every morning at 6. Several months later, watching "Hope Floats" and having to turn away at the dance scene because I just knew the ceiling was going to come down on the dancers. Wondering if I what I was feeling was shock.

A co-worker asked today why they had to keep showing 9/11 material over and over again. Another co-worker responded that it was to keep us mad so we'd be okay with the war going on. I told her I disagreed. I think I finally got it last night. This really happened. There are people still feeling the effects of what happened that day. To watch those firefighters lose their friends and brothers, to watch the filmmakers hug and cry when they were reunited, it seems to me 9/11 isn't about politics or who screwed up. Today, just today, on the anniversary, we need to remember that today is about the people who died and the people who lived. Leave everything else for tomorrow. Tomorrow, we can remember that some very angry people changed the entire way we all view our world and that nothing will ever be the same. But today, we need to reach out to the survivors, not with token ceremonies, but with support to help them on their way.
A lot of people were changed that day. Let's make sure it wasn't a change for the worse.

A Few Stolen Moments

2006-09-10T09:50:00.000-04:00

This kids are quietly watching the rabbit cartoon that comes on after "Scrat Goes Nutty" (we've seen this DVD a dozen times but I always forget the rabbit's name) so I'm able to sum up my week for you.

Let's just skip talking about work. I'm drained from talking about it to G-, and it's really just a rerun of the same plot, same ending.

I've been working diligently on a beach bag for my first trip to the beach in nearly 10 years (not counting the Outer Banks). I used my day last Sunday to go bathing suit shopping. Have you ever gone bathing suit shopping the day before Labor Day? Not that there were a lot of shoppers, just that there was a severe shortage of bathing suits. We had to go to six stores, but we finally found one for Say-say and one for me. I'm actually excited about going. I can't wait to see how Say-say and Bobo react to the waves. I'll bring some knitting with me, but me and G- are going to split the kids. I'll watch one, he'll watch the other. And it won't be one of these things where I look up from my book and don't know which way they went. I'm a very overprotective mommy. Not only will I know where my child is, I'll probably be sitting right beside him. The bag I'm making will be used for sunscreen, beach toys, towels maybe, anything I can fit into it. I might make two just to be sure.

This has been a fairly uneventful week (well no events that I can really speak about). I had a few days off, but the days on drained me. I know I said let's not talk work, but I can't even convey the disgust and contempt I've been dealing with, both within myself and from outside parties. It's draining because I'm not that type of person so it messes with my psyche.

Well, this has been a rather uninspiring post. Let's wrap it up here, maybe I'll have more later.

The Croc Hunter is Dead

2006-09-04T09:26:00.000-04:00

I'm in shock. G- told me about it this morning. I just can't quite grasp the concept. Steve Irwin dead? At 44? With two kids to raise and a successful life before him? (G- said he had a nice full life, all 9 of them.) I just can't believe he's dead. Not like I can't believe it happened (although I'm still waiting for someone to come on and say it was all a mistake, he didn't really die, the news just got misinformation). Not like I'm this gigantic fan. It's just a surreal feeling. A "That wasn't supposed to happen" feeling. It's a little like the feeling I get when George Stephanopoulos shows "In Memoriam" on his Sunday show and 20 names roll by, the majority of which are soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan who are really just kids at age 21, 25, 28. Or when you're watching the Oscars or the Emmys, and they're showing all the actors that have died in the past year, and you're like "what, he died?" Or when Peter Jennings died. I cried like a baby all night long and wore black to work the next day. It wasn't supposed to happen. These people are supposed to be invincible. They're supposed to be well-protected. Bad things aren't supposed to happen to them. I know, I know, he died doing what he loved. At least he lived a happy life all the way to the end. Makes me wonder what I need to do to ensure my own happy life to the end.

Chaotic Good

2006-08-30T20:34:00.000-04:00

A couple updates before I launch into today's events:

Bobo's picture retakes went much better Saturday. The photographer was excellent, and Bobo behaved himself this time. The next one due is a family pose we'll probably do sometime in December (but not for Christmas, we don't do Christmas).

In Say-say news, his last speech appointment was yesterday. He's doing so well, the therapist said he's ready to be released. We'll come back around his birthday for a recheck to make sure he's still doing well and not relapsing. It was hard saying goodbye. We all got a little teary-eyed, well, all except for Say-say. I don't think he quite understood that it was the last appointment. Say-say drew her a picture the night before, and G- took a picture and printed it out so we could give it to Ms K to say thank you.

I can't begin to explain what it all is, but he says it's called "Alie" (as in "Alien"). She loved it of course and made us promise we'd drop by every now and then. She was and still really is such a part of this kid's life. He could barely say 15 words when he started with her. We had resorted to sign language to try and figure out what he wanted. He's so eloquent now that he tells intricate detailed stories that involve lots of pictures he draws himself. Maybe we can stop by during their Halloween festival. Wow, is this what it's going to be like every year when he changes teachers?

And onto the day's events.
Have you ever been in a building where half the power is out, but half is on? A transformer blew about 20 minutes after I got to work today. But only parts of the building went down. And not just this side on, this side off. One person's PC worked while the ones in the two adjoining cubicles went down. The calculators at checkout started getting very very light while the calculator in the accountant's office started moving very very slowly. The fans employees had turned on (it got quite hot with no air conditioning) worked fine at checkin, but were slowing down in the file room. One at a time, the PC's that did work eventually started shutting themselves down. The checkout credit card machine wouldn't work at all even though it had power, but the one at checkin was fine (until we found out the printer had stopped working). Only two out of five spool printers were working (again, even though there was power to four of them). Lights were on at checkout, but off at checkin.
At one point, I had to walk around and turn off anything that was beeping in alarm. When the majority of my people migrated to the file room looking for something to do until their PC's came up, one of the checkout women alerted me to a beeping in the storage room. Yep, you guessed it. A vital piece of our equipment, the computer that monitors our phone system, was flashing orange lights and beeping frantically. By the time I had got the supervisor in charge to come check it out (the supervisor who was trying to conduct interviews in this mess), the whole system had shut itself down. But our phones didn't go down immediately. They went down while our IT guy was talking the IQ and I through checking our backup computer system.
It was the most godawful mess I've ever seen. Power slowly drained out of everything, piece by piece. And then, just as suddenly, it was all up again. Again, slowly, piece by piece, the power came back to everything. The calculators started working, the PC's were all fine, the printers were online again, everything worked. I can't imagine what would have happened if the electric company hadn't gotten the power back on when it did. We probably would have been completely down by lunchtime.
And it was sunny and beautiful outside. It didn't start storming until the end of the day.

Oh, did I mention Say-say had to come in to see the doctor because he told G- he had put something up his nose? The doctor couldn't find anything, but we have to watch him for the next 72 hours at least to see if he develops a sinus infection which would mean an ENT would have to perform surgery to get the object out (which by the way was a rubber string-like piece from an oversized Kooshie ball).

What a day. And it's just Wednesday.

I Don't Like Mondays

2006-08-28T22:30:00.000-04:00

You know that line in Hitchhiker's Guide, where Arthur says "It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays." I just can't seem to get the hang of Mondays. They tend to be chaotic and miserable. Today of course was no exception.

I've got this melancholy cloud hanging over me, and it tended to color everything I thought and did today. I'm having boss issues, which is never a good thing, but when your boss goes from halfway decent to snapping witch in one day, just what are you supposed to do? (I suppose a British "what is one to do?" is in order here, but I can't remember how they say it.) So I'm going to rant here since I'm pretty sure no one with whom I currently work reads this.

Our "Practice Administrator" (hereafter known as the Ice Queen) has pushed me to the edge these past few days. I really don't know what crawled up her ass and died, but she has been incredibly snappish and dismissive to both me and the other front office supervisor. I won't bore you with specifics and tech talk, but suffice it to say she has treated us like so much dirt on her shoe. And our dear Nurse Supervisor (hereafter known as Nurse Ratchett) has got me so aggravated I feel like I'm floating on the tension. (Ever been so tense you felt like you could blast off?) At one point today I really wanted to just throw my hands up and say "If you think you can run my department too, have at it." I don't know why people like to pretend they know what they're talking about when there's an obvious expert standing in front of them. I know, I know, I'm not as assertive as I should be, but I'm not that person. Why can't we all just get along?

Oh, and Ernesto is headed our way. Last time a tropical storm came over top of us, everything was flooded for hours. It made for interesting TV but insane traffic. Of course, anything's better than Katrina, obviously. I'm sitting here struggling not to cry as I listen to Anderson Cooper replay the coverage from last year.

Changing topic for a moment, aren't coincidences exciting? Gary turned the channel to VH1 Classic tonight (a channel we never watch) because Elvis Costello was on (a family favorite). Fiona Apple was singing with him (of all people). Now the coincidence is that I had just read in the "Parade" magazine that comes in my Sunday paper that Apple is her middle name, and her last name is actually Maggart.
K - we watched a channel we never watch, and I read some random fact about one of the performers. Exciting right? They eventually sang "What's So Funny 'Bout Peace, Love, and Understanding?". I called myself at work (told you I do that a lot) so I'd remember to change my screensaver tomorrow to show the lyrics to that song.
So what part of this is going to show up next? Something else regarding Elvis C? Something regarding Fiona (these things tend to come in threes with me)? Or will someone point me in a new direction from what they exclaim when they read my new screensaver? I'll keep you posted.

K, time to pay some attention to Anderson Cooper. He's in the lower 9th Ward. What a guy.

Change

2006-08-26T11:56:00.000-04:00

G- has decreed today to be music day. He turned off the tv early this morning after the kids fought over what DVD to put in next.

1st up - Paula Abdul. What a complete lack of creativity. I remember when I was younger, watching the video for "Opposites Attract" and loving it. Wow, to be young again.

Next up - Indigo Girls. I should have known better. I found all my old cd's, the ones included in my inheritance, ones I never listen to anymore (Pottercast anyone?). The experience of looking through them all should have been enough to make me stop in my tracks and cave in to Say-say's demands for the BBC recording of "the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." (He had an absolute hissy fit when the first song started "No I don't like this music!". Bobo, however, danced happily.) But I should have remembered this music. Dancing at the Lilith Fair by myself (after almost leaving before they came onstage having never had the Indigo Girls experience before). Listening to these CD's on the way home after identifying my father's body (what's going to happen when I hear "Secure Yourself" again?). Listening to these songs on my CD player in the months after the suicide and crying but trying to hold it together. 1997 was such a year for me. So many changes that affected the rest of my life. So many memories that only come back when song fragments nudge them.

I really miss my daddy.

I think back to those times with longing until I force myself to remember the present. Though my job sucks some days and G- bugs me some days and the kids drive me stark raving mad some days, the other days are pretty good. I like myself better today than I did then. My mind just spins now with the clarity of it all. I'm happy and fulfilled. How many people can truly say that?

Say-say likes the music now. Just took a couple songs to get him going. Bobo's lost interest, instead he's decided to climb up the back of the couch again. "UP!"

Bobo's birthday party

2006-08-22T21:00:00.000-04:00

The party went well. My two year old is actually two now and not just acting like it. Thank you to all that came, family and friends (or friend since only one reads this.) (By the way, Bobo and Say-say are really enjoying Bobo's new toys.)

We went for two year old pictures today. I remember Say-say acting like this, I do, but it still came as a shock when Bobo shouted "NO!" and ran out of the studio. We tried again. He picked up every toy in there (why are there so many toys within reach?) but refused to stand exactly where the trainee wanted him to. Now, why do I know she was a trainee, you ask? Because the big boss lady said so before stating she was absolutely starving and took off to lunch. Why they left this poor girl alone to try and coax my kid into position is beyond me.

Oh, he was bad. I know, I know, he's two. I remember Say-say's two year old pictures. It took at least an hour, and you can see the tear stains on his outfit in one pose. G- wasn't having it today though. When we leaving (15 minutes after we got there), the girl asked us if we wanted to reschedule. Yeah, right. I told her not to worry, I'd call the other store. When we got home, I called the nearer store and asked very politely if they had a photographer that was good with two year olds and would she be there around 4 on Saturday. Woo hoo, yes there is one, and yes she's there.
Wendy.

I can hardly wait.

NC Native

2006-08-16T21:41:00.000-04:00

I have nothing against people who were not born and raised here deciding to live in NC for whatever reason. Let me make that perfectly clear before we get started. I've never lived anywhere else, just in three places in this one state. I love nearly everything about this state, its beaches, its mountains, its people. I remember writing an essay when I was in school about NC. The theme was to try and convince a movie company to film here (oh, did I mention several movies and television shows are made here?). I remember going on and on about our white beaches and our beautiful green mountains, how we actually have four seasons here as opposed to just the one they have in some states. My point is that I have a proper respect for my state and a wish to keep it a nice place to live.

Now let me tell you what's wrong with it. The roads are falling apart, and we can't pull together the money to fix them. They're also rather trashy. Strip malls and posterboard neighborhoods have sprouted up everywhere. But even with these things, some cities make the effort to keep things green. In the city I call home, Raleigh, the mayor in his infinite wisdom kept a program in place to keep trees and bushes and such on roads despite great resistance. People said it was a waste of money and that we couldn't balance the budget as it was and we could always go back and put the program in later when we had the money. You know as well as I do, and apparently Mayor Meeker does, that money would disappear and the program would never be reinstated.

I love this state. I didn't always. When I was growing up, I really wanted to go to New York or Paris. I thought living in the South meant living with backwards rednecks . It wasn't until I had the opportunity to actually experience my state that I learned we're actually pretty forward. I won't go into details because I'm losing my point here, but trust me when I say that I love my state. And I feel the need to defend it when non-natives start tearing it apart, both figuratively and literally.

I had to go to a conference yesterday. In the first session of the morning, upon learning that several participants were late due to a wreck on the beltline, the woman speaker told us she just doesn't understand how a person can flip a car in 90 degree weather. Because they NEVER do that in New York, where she's from. Because they always just get right back up and keep going where she's from. Because she's used to driving in feet of snow and they don't wreck. She told us it's a NC thing. She asked why it happened. A lady told her it was because of the NC shuffle or the NC slide where a driver goes from the far left lane to the far right lane in one move. This obvious expert said she's been studying it for a year. A YEAR. I was so disgusted with the both of them I could barely pay attention to the session. (And yes, I wrote how disgusted I was down on the comment sheet.)

North Carolinians are proud people. We love our state. We put up with out-of-towners for the business, but we really don't like those transplants telling us how bad a place this is to live. Tell me truly, who would really want to listen to someone ripping their home apart? I 'm going to try and refrain from the inevitable comment "maybe if so many people hadn't moved here, it wouldn't be such a bad place to live!". Well there I said it. But let's go ahead and take it a step further. Maybe if you hate it so much, you can go back to where you came from. I can't count the times when someone starts complaining about traffic and strip malls and the degraded roads, I've wanted to tell them to just go back home . Go home. If you can't like where you live, or at least make an effort to help find solutions for the problems, get out. When people complain about trashy roads, I want to tell them to go adopt a street for crying out loud and stop griping. I'd like to see a lot less talk and a lot more action. Only then will they all be off my shit list.

And just in the interest of full disclosure, my daddy was born in New York. I still have relatives there. I don't hate northerners. I just hate being told my state stinks.

Quick Pics

2006-08-14T20:19:00.000-04:00

Unloading the camera for my knitting pictures and came across these:

more Say-say pictures:

The first one is a ghost with eyebrows:

G- says this one is called "danger":

and last not but least a snake G- found in the backyard while mowing:

Gotta run now

Week in Review

2006-08-13T10:55:00.000-04:00

I was going along quite nicely there for about a week. Posts nearly every day. But finding time to blog with work and two little ones sometimes doesn't equal out nicely to nearly every day. Case in point, I just had to settle a fight over a matchbox car (keep in mind we have enough matchbox cars to fill a plastic bin AND a suitcase made especially for matchbox car storage). I've kept notes all week however, just itching to get my fingers moving, but not finding the time. Till now of course.

I have no dates, just random notes so that's how they'll be presented.

Alas, the unthinkable was confirmed recently. Dumbledore is indeed dead. I've spent an entire year laboring under the delusion that the gentle wise wizard had just pulled a Gandalf, had just taken a Draught of Living Death, anything but died. All my hopes were dashed when J K Rowling pulled this out of her hat at an August 2nd reading in NYC. I know people think I'm odd, throwing myself into the Harry Potter universe as I do. I can't fully explain it. I have a tendency to take people and adopt them as my mentors (unbeknownst to them of course). I praise their words, deeds, knowledge. I watch their shows, or read their books, or listen to what they have to say in one way or another because I trust them as experts. Maybe I didn't have enough role models growing up that I seek them out so eagerly in adulthood. I can't fully explain it. But I digress. My point is that delving into Rowling's universe is exciting, it's engaging, and having the opportunity to share a massive puzzle with millions of people is a thrill. When she announced Dumbledore is indeed dead, she said that she wanted people to move on with the grieving process. She's right. Now I can move past that particular hurdle, as sad and hard to accept as it is, and set out to put the rest of the pieces together before the last book comes out. Only my fellow Harry Potter fans can truly understand this but I hope I've at least explained my obesssion a tiny bit.

I had to go into the office for a couple hours yesterday to do an upgrade on our computer system when no one was on it (don't I sound important). I left my little ones at home napping with daddy. As always, I turned on Pottercast in the car, but I couldn't concentrate. I finally paused it and called myself at work (I do that a lot). If I can get myself back into that feeling, I'd like to describe the drive for you. It was an unseasonably cool day yesterday, but instead of making me comfortable, it just made me long for autumn, all two weeks of it (that's all we get here in NC). I had on my trusty clip-on sunglasses (best $200 I've ever spent were on these eyeglasses with sunglasses attachment) which served to make the sky bluer, the grass and trees greener, and gave the whole drive a very dream-like trance. I love drives like that. Usually I hate driving, always have. My sister and I used to fight over who was going to drive to and from school. But at times like yesterday morning, when there's a slight breeze in the air, just enough to make it feel like you've wrapped up with a light blanket on a chilly night, when the world seems like for that moment that nothing has gone wrong, when you almost have to shake yourself awake and make yourself concentrate on the road, during those times, I'd rather be driving than anywhere in the world.

Well, I've spent as much time today as I can allow. The interruptions are starting to take longer and come at more frequent intervals so it's time I pay sole attention to the family. My last note, which really was a thought that ran through my head several times this week, was that I need to start a novel blog. The thing is, I'm in an inspiration slump. All I want to do is fingerpaint what I see, trees, sky, whatever. Maybe if I can draw it out, I can people it and come up with a story to match. We'll see.

Bathtime

2006-08-06T14:46:00.000-04:00

The differences in my two little ones become even more evident when I have the luxury of just sitting next to the bathtub, watching them play. Is it due to age or personality? Is the right brain working more than the left?

Notes:
Say-say draws carefully on the side of the tub with his bath crayons. "Look Momma look!" He says it's a factory (can't quite get a handle on what type of factory it is). "Momma , what comes out of the crayon when it gets smushed up? Momma? Momma!" I explain that I really don't know; regular crayons are made of wax but I don't think tub crayons are.

Bobo has a bath visor around his neck. It's supposed to be on his head so the inevitable screeching doesn't ensue when the water gets into his eyes, but Bobo is a very strong-willed little boy (just like his brother). Now he's pushing the green fish through the water making "Psh Psh" noises. I can't remember Say-say ever doing that.

The crayons are a source of great amazement. We'd put them up on top of the cabinet so Bobo wouldn't eat them, but it seemed like the right time to pull them out. Bobo uses the blue one to draw as high up on the wall as he can get, then gets in the water to color his toes. Say-say, on the other hand, is telling me a story with the black one (the pink one was abandoned when it failed to live up to its potential). The monster has reappeared, this time in footprints. Say-say cackles and quickly uses the loofah to erase everything off the walls (saving me the agonizing decision "should it stay or should it go?").

Bobo gets out first, very upset about his pickled fingers which he refers to as "bubbles". Once Say-say has erased all their artwork, he's out next. They take off naked through the house.

Say-say's Art

2006-08-05T18:56:00.000-04:00

After bragging about my 4 year old the other day, I thought I'd better cough up some evidence to prove his brilliance. Here are some recent art projects I'd like to share with you all:

I'm not quite sure what all this is. When I got home from work the other day, this was waiting on me. He says the tall things are trees, some of which have faces, and all the people have faces on their tummies.

Say-say has an obsession with monsters lately. This one has big teeth, the better to eat you with!

He told us this one was the galaxy with all the planets around it, and that some of the planets broke apart and broke the galaxy. I think...

This is an "angry face" made out of blocks (notice the red eyebrows), and he corrected me to tell me the square is a mouth not a nose.

And here are two pages out of a coloring book. He was very upset with himself that he didn't get the colors exactly right.

I have a budding artist on my hands. I really wanted him to be an accountant, but there you go.

Play Nice

2006-08-04T19:25:00.000-04:00

***I apologize in advance for this rant***

I have this t-shirt I bought only because of the happy phrase emblazoned on the front. Written in puffy white letters, it reads "Play Nice". Somebody somewhere tell me, what's so hard about that? I think I'm a pretty decent person, fair, polite, considerate. I'm not a people-person by any stretch of the imagination, but I take my attitude seriously so I take a "treat others the way you want to be treated" position (hence the t-shirt.) I am such a non-people-person that I'm exhausted by the effort when I finally get home from work. I'm much more of a data person. Oh, I love databases. The gathering of information, the input, the analyzing later, I could be a happy person stuck in a room with nothing but a computer and a stack of paper to go through. So the fact that I can lock away my introvert personality and take the initiative to greet people in a polite, helpful, HAPPY way, well, I just think anyone should be able to do it.
Which brings me to the purpose of this rant. Why do people hate each other? Why is it so hard to think like the person opposite of you? Why do I bring back exercises from seminars, desperate to make everyone work together happily (again with the happy), and it's blown off like so much computer dust? Why must people think they are so much more important? I must say I can only think of one person that is a truly together person who actually tries to help and keep an upbeat and positive attitude. (Everybody, quick, claim this person is you, you know you want to.) Positive attitude, maybe that's what I'm trying to make people take. Think to yourself, "how would I react to that if someone said it to me?" I'm losing patience with the people around me, but I honestly just want to tell them, "I'm not your momma, I'm not going to raise you, get some manners or get out." Which I, of course, am too polite to do. Is that the real problem? Am I really mad at myself that I don't take more of a ballsy approach? Am I just as bad as them?

My head hurts, I'm going to go watch a cartoon.

Update in general

2006-08-01T22:06:00.000-04:00

"They wrote back." That was G-'s subject line of the email forwarded from Sprout. I got one too. Dig:

"Please rest assured that we have read your email and appreciate you taking the time and effort to share your concerns with us. We understand that you are disappointed with the recent changes to The Good Night Show, and we too are saddened that we had to make this difficult decision. While we recognize that change is difficult for young children, we are committed to finding a new host for The Good Night Show who will build a strong and sustainable connection to our Sprout children and families."

I, of course, wrote back:

"I am truly disappointed in PBS. I thought PBS was open-minded. The people that come across Sesame Street, for instance, do all of them have excellent work histories? I still haven't heard an acceptable answer to the question "why is ok for George Carlin & Alec Baldwin to be role models for our children, but not Melanie?" Don't tell me because they don't appear in the stories because Alec Baldwin is in the Thomas the Tank Engine movie. Melanie is lovable and childlike herself, what she did 7 years ago does not matter to me or my children. I just know we're all going to miss her "Let's make a craft" song and her "Goodnight" song. (Shame on you if you let anyone else sing them.)
I think you have a made a terrible mistake in firing Melanie. If Melanie does not come back, PBS and any channels affiliated with PBS will not be shown in my house again. I will not have my children exposed to such an obviously conservative station. Now you've alienated the right and the left. Who do you have left?"

I'm beginning to lose hope. But I'm serious. I will not play PBS in my house again, and I will not send them money or support them in any way. When I've had a bad experience somewhere or with someone, everyone I know hears about it, and I never frequent the establishment again. (I haven't shopped at Kmart in 3 years even though it's closer than Target, and it's a grocery store too.) But enough of my little rant...

In other news: I've been researching elementary schools for Say-say. He'll be going next year so I thought I'd look into it. Ok, I don't know how other states do it, but I have to have him registered at his "base" school in January in order to apply in February (one week and one week only in February) to send him to a "magnet" school. I've found two that excite me. One offers "international studies" which includes 5 different language programs. The other is a Montessori school. An actual public Montessori school. I'm all a-twitter. I really think he's going to need something challenging that's going to help him learn his way. He's a very artistic child; he draws everyday on his Magna Doodle. If I can get G- to help me get some of his pictures up, you'll be able to see the intricate detail. His latest is drawing songs. Drawing songs! The things that come out of his mouth just amaze me sometimes. I was quizzing him tonight at story time before bed. He can easily count to 10 (not just count out loud, but is able to identify numbers on sight and count the objects to see how many there are). He easily knows his colors (had to explain what gray was, but he's got it now). Now we're working on letters. A lady at work told me he had trouble with reading because he's had so much trouble speaking. He's done so well in speech, I think it will be a non-issue soon enough.

Well, Anderson Cooper's on the tv, let me find out what's going on now.
I've had too much of a thinking day today to come up with anything clever tonight. (Quick poll: how many of you thought the last post came off as a bit pretentious? [me])

Deep Thought

2006-07-28T23:04:00.000-04:00

I have a thousand thoughts running through my head, a mile a minute, how cliche. I have a terrible time taming them (what alliteration) and taking them down on paper (blog post - whatever).

I noticed today as I was working the patient accounts on the A/R how much like a piano the keyboard is. Maybe that's why work is so enjoyable when I get to just sit and type, when the accounts all come together, the balances are all correct, refunds are administered, what can I play next?

I told a woman at work the other day that I'm a creativity snob. It's true. I can't bear to watch a poorly directed film, listen to choppy flat music, or read uninspired writing. (I have a thing for threes, but they don't have a thing for me). A film has to connect with all the senses, music has to soar, writing has to flow. I watched an excellent movie the other day with G-. "Capote." Incredible. A movie to appeal to all the senses. Thoughtful, well-written, well-acted. Engrossing. I hadn't thought much about the content when G- asked me to watch it with him (well after the little ones had gone down for the night, not quite "Monsters Inc" enough for them), but the director put this film together in such a way that I noticed his touch in every scene. Excellent.
Music has escaped me lately. My favorites on my profile will speak for themselves. The music that does interest me is thought-provoking, soul-catching, soaring (there's that word again, can you see it?)
As for books, I've been on a Harry Potter fact-finding mission for so long that I can't afford to pick up another book until I uncover all the clues (I only have until next year, on book 5 now). Funny how coincidence puts arrows in your path. As I was forming my next thought, the commercial came on in the background. "The Night Listener" by Armistead Maupin. I've had this book since it came out in paperback in 2000. Talk about inspired writing. This man is one of my all-time favorite authors anyway, but this book was like that first sip of Sierra Mist after driving the long hot journey home from work (I just can't put the air on, I just can't). I must find a way to see the movie next week.

This has been an inspired post for me as well, creatively speaking. I found a fascinating site today, just randomly browsing blogger's blogs. Check her out. You won't regret it.

Bring Melanie Back!

2006-07-26T13:09:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm going to forgo my knitting/lunch hour to blog today. My husband,G-, called me at work to tell me that our favorite children's program's hostess has been fired. I'm speaking of the one and only Melanie Martinez. She used to host a children's show called "The Goodnight Show" on PBS Sprout. As the website says, she was fired last week. She did a couple of stupid commercials 7 years ago that showed up on youtube.com. (I'm not going to link to them, I don't want to encourage it.) She told PBS about them and was consequently fired.
If you've never seen Melanie, you're missing out. She's perky, cheerful, happy, everything in a kids' show hostess you could ask for. She is the most natural person on TV. G- and me always look at her and think she can't be for real, no one is that happy and perky. She's like the Wiggles, only better.
Besides, did you know that George Carlin and Alec Baldwin do voiceovers on Thomas the Tank Engine (which plays on the Goodnight Show)? Do we really need to pull their histories??? And look at Sesame Street! Do we start pulling everyone off of that show who has done the same thing Melanie has done and worse???
Okay then, now for your part.
Write Sprout (Sandy_wax@sproutletsgrow.com,
Jenni_glenn@sproutletsgrow.com,
sprout_network@comcast.com,
info@sproutletsgrow.com).
Sign petitions. (Here's another one.)
Please please please help us bring Melanie back. The Goodnight Show will never be the same without her (or course if they don't bring Melanie back, Sprout won't be shown in my house again)....

Better

2006-07-25T19:36:00.000-04:00

I'm really enjoying this blog thing. I've decided to let my family in on this. Mainly because I want to share the newest great news. My 4-year-old, we'll call him Say-say, has been in speech therapy since December of 2004. When he first started, we were teaching him sign language just so we could try and figure out what he wanted (chocolate milk for example). He only had about a 10-20 word vocabulary. He has come so far, his teacher, Ms. Kim, has said we'll start winding down and may be done in the next month! I'm so excited but sad too. He really enjoys seeing her every week. We're going to have to find something for him to do at the same time so he at least has the experience of leaving the house at the same time. He's not in preschool and probably won't be in any kind of school environment until kindergarten so he really needs something to break up the day.

My day was much better today. Partly because of the great news above, partly because I got to go to our other office to work. It's always so much more relaxing over there. At first, it really seemed like this morning was a continuation of yesterday. I had another girl call out (different girl, different reason), and when I called the other supervisor to let her know, I found out there was a wreck due to the out-of-nowhere downpour (the same one I got caught in going to work 45 minutes later) so she had been a half hour late getting in (the rain also resulted in several of our doctors' first appointments being 15-20 minutes late which is always a great start to the day). There were several other snafu's that would only make sense to the people working in the office with me so I'll spare you the boring details. Let's just say, I wasn't having the best morning. And then I got the great news about Say-say. The sun literally came out on the way back.

The little one's bugging me right now so I'll come to a close. Better day than yesterday.

Monday

2006-07-24T13:51:00.000-04:00

This has to go down as one of the top ten worst mornings ever. It's one of those days where you don't even hope things are going to get better. You know if anyone wants to tell you about something, you already know something went wrong. I started off my day with a call from an employee who couldn't get to work. No problem. I was on time getting out of my house (which is unusual for me), but I happened to read a CNN story this morning about a family that was trying to flee Lebanon who's car was bombed. Dad's dead. Of the rest, two teens are in surgery, the other two children (8 yrs and an infant) are screaming in pain before passing out, and Mom's left to try and hold everything together. I don't care what's going on over there anymore, JUST MAKE IT STOP.
I'm actually glad Rice is over there. That's scary because I'm strongly against this administration so when I'm glad one of their people is on the job, you know something's dreadfully wrong.
I watch Anderson Cooper every night, hoping for the best, but mainly just wishing he'd get his ass home. I watch all these people having to leave their lives behind. This is insanity. I understand the rational. Israel wants its soldiers back. I don't think Hezbollah should have took them.
I saw an interview on CNN with Anderson Cooper and a Lebanese gentleman. The gentleman said Hezbollah had traded hostages with Israel before, why is this any different? Let me repeat that : "WHY IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT?" Maybe because Israel is tired of having to do it. I really don't understand the whole Israel vs the whole Arab world thing. I don't pretend to. But I do understand the pain I see on these people's faces, and nothing should cause that.

As for the rest of the morning, I can't even go into it. I haven't decided if I'm going to tell friends and family about this blog. I kind of just want somewhere to vent, but I also want to share things, happy things, so until I decide, I will refrain from any obvious jabs but I will say this. I usually go to lunch at 12:30. I spent an hour trying to fix a computer at the front desk of the medical office for whom I work then went to lunch around 1:30. I don't even want to think about how the rest of the day's going to go. But thinking about those poor people stuck in the fighting has put it all into perspective for me.

1st Blog Ever

2006-07-23T12:52:00.000-04:00

So I'm sitting in my living room, watching the latest on CNN, and reading knit blogs on the internet when it occurs to me, "Hey, what a great way to track progress on my knitting projects (which I should be working on right now instead of reading knit blogs)". So here's my attempt at a blog. I know nothing about blogging or html, haven't even had a web page in 9 years (member the days when everyone had a web page from a free homepage site, ah to be young and clueless again!) But I've decided that this is going to be fun. I'm going to use this to keep my family updated, to keep my knitting projects straight, to throw my two cents in regarding news stories and outrageous Harry Potter Book 7 theories. My idea is to have a link on the right to go to each one of those special interests, but at the moment I need to figure out how to do just that...before the children wake up from their naps...